Page 155 - April Issue

lonely in such a place, especially
during the winter months
when darkness lasts from early
afternoon to late morning. But
there again I met extraordinary
people, kind-hearted and
generous, and a woman
dedicating her life to her family.
I arrived in the farm one
summer’s day, in order to help
the farmer and his wife with
their tasks and learn about the
Icelandic culture and language.
I was going to help in the fields,
in the sheep house, but also in
the house. This particular family,
for a few months during the
summer every year, welcomes
children from troubled families
to give them affection and
values they probably do not get
at home. In itself, this is a pretty evening together with some
amazing thing to do, when you
think that at the busiest time,
there were nine children in the
house – only two of them being
the farmer’s and his wife’s own
children. The work in the farm
was also quite demanding,
everything needing to be done
within the few weeks of summer
Iceland gets, before the cold
and the snow crawls back in
September.
The first impression that I
got when I saw Didda was that
of a typical farmer’s wife. She
was wearing comfortable and
practical clothes and shoes,
and she did not seem bothered
by the style and fashion fuss
that we all live with. She
also seemed very strong and
dominant. Her husband was a
bit shy, and did not seem to be
the decision maker of the family.
But I quickly realised that they
were actually working as a team,
and the harmony that reigned
in their family was amazing.
However, I also noticed
that tasks were still divided
according to the traditional
way: she was taking care of the
house, the kids, the cooking
and cleaning, and her husband
was out working on the farm.
But in a country like Iceland,
which saw the first woman in
the world to be democratically
elected as a head of state,
this kind of division is more a
practical one than an obligation.
It can be difficult to live
and work in a farm for a woman.
You cannot exactly go to work
every morning wearing nice
clothes and high heels. I was
amazed to see that, once in a
while, when the couple took
a break from work and duties,
they would go to the city (which
in our part we would call a
village, really) and spend an
of their friends. I saw such a
different woman then! Didda
would really let the woman
in her out, putting make-up
on, wearing a nice outfit, and
letting herself be led by her
husband on the dance floor.
We also had many occasions
to sit and talk, and I could feel
that she missed the company of
other adult women. We talked
about relationships, clothes,
food, but also travels and life
in general. While her children
were still young, she had more
than enough to keep herself
busy at home. At that time she
had a daughter and a son, aged
eleven and five; she got a third
child a few years later, and took
on one of the children from
Reykjavik whose parents were
divorced, her mum not being
able to take care of her and her
dad living in the United States.
Her son had hearing difficulties,
and she was always so attentive
with him, learning sign language
together with the rest of the
family in order to communicate
better. Now that her children
mama me-time mother, baby & child April 2011
are older and starting their own
lives, Didda is finding more time
for herself; she started studying
again, and is looking forward to
the next chapter in her life.
In all the time I stayed
with them, I never once was
under the impression that her
“I quickly
realised that
they were
actually
working as
a team, and
the harmony
that reigned
in their family
was amazing.”
children were feeling jealous of
the other kids. Every single one
of them was treated equally, but
her children could never doubt
the place they occupy in their
parents’ heart. I even felt like a
part of the family, and I still do.
As soon as I stepped in, I was
going to share their lives, their
happiness and their heartaches.
It was two very different
countries and unbelievably
different cultures. The place of
a woman in society is not the
same in Benin and in Iceland,
but I still discovered two very
strong women, in their own
ways, who ruled their world
and guided their troops with an
extremely generous heart. They
do not have fame nor fortunes,
but both these women, in
their very own ways, are true
stars, and their lights will keep
on shining through all the
people they have helped and
influenced in their lives.
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