Page 106 - April Issue
P. 106
in focus: toddler | discipline
Saying no and meaning it ask yourself: Can I follow through?”
she says and if you cannot follow
S ince toddlers don’t through or you feel that you will
have the same cognitive succumb to pressures, then do not
capacity as older children, threaten or make empty statements.
it is very difficult to parent
them and teach them what Taking a Stand
is appropriate behaviour and
what is not. There are several However, before you say no, Dr
tactics that can be used to teach Afridi says that it is important
toddlers even though they may to ask yourself if you are being
not fully comprehend yet. reasonable, or are you being too
rigid? “Have you explained to your
mother, baby & child April 2011 Cognitive capacity to the age of the child. For a young child why you are saying no, or are
child sometimes it is appropriate you saying, “Just because I said
From infancy to toddlerhood, to just distract them from bad so.” We do not live in a time when
children’s brains start to develop. behaviour and get them to do “just because I am your parent”
Between the ages of one and two something else. As the child gets is enough of an explanation,”
their brain develops at an amazing older authoritative parents explain she explains and it is much
pace. Toddler’s comprehension is things to their child and tell them healthier for children if you assume
still undeveloped, however, and the whys behind the don’ts. These authoritative parenting rather than
things such as common sense parents encourage communication authoritarian parenting. It creates
don’t exist for them. Between and encourage their child to a family culture of respect and
ages one and two, toddlers cannot express his/her feelings. This understanding, remarks Dr Afridi,
reason nor stay still for very long. helps the child know that this is if parents take the time out to
Dr Rothbaum, a professor in the an appropriate way to react to explain to their child why it is that
Eliot-Pearson Department of Child situations, using words rather than they are saying ‘no’.
Development at Tufts University becoming physical. These parents
says, “One-year-olds have some let their children be involved in Saying ‘no’ is setting a
rudimentary use of words and a things that they do. For example, boundary for a child, she says
little comprehension, but language they allow their children to make and it is important that they
on its own is not a powerful way choices about things where either understand why that particular
to communicate with a one or choice is acceptable to the parent. boundary is being established.
one and a half-year-old.” In other For example giving the child the “Also, boundaries that are
words, giving a toddler a lengthy choice of, “It’s time to eat, do applied consistently give way
explanation of why he shouldn’t do you want cereal or pancakes for to predictability, which is very
something just won’t work. breakfast?” is okay as long as the containing for a child,” she says,
parent is willing to make whatever “If he knows that you say no
Authoritative parenting the child chooses. If it’s not then and you mean it, and you have
the parent simply states, “We’re explained to him in a respectful
Starting from when a child is having cereal for breakfast.” manner why is it that you said no,
born, it is very important to be an then he is less likely to be anxious
authoritative parent. Studies have According to Dr Saliha Afridi, about the outcome.” While there
shown that children from these Clinical Psychologist in The Human may be times where you say ‘no’
parents have higher cognitive Relations Institute, one of the most out of anger or it is an emotional
capacities. An authoritative parent important things a parent can do is reaction, just don’t make it a habit,
is one that takes time to explain to be consistent. “Before you say advises Dr Afridi.
correct principles to a child instead no, or before you establish a rule,
of just saying, “Don’t do that, CREDITS:
because I said so.” These parents Dr Saliha Afridi
use good discipline tactics, geared Clinical Psychologist
Human Relations Institute
04-3658498
106
