Page 74 - April Issue
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the new family | discipline
their children. Experts say that Alternatives to Spanking
spanking may work in the short-
term, when children do as they One reason parents spank is that they are not aware of
are told out of fear. But in the other effective strategies for changing children’s undesirable
long run, it can do more harm behaviour. To be effective, discipline that is appropriate for a
than good. Studies have shown child’s age should be used. Ineffective methods are often based
that children who are spanked on unrealistic expectations about what children are capable
frequently adapt to it, causing of learning. Parents may find the following age-appropriate
some parents to increase its discipline suggestions useful alternatives to spanking.
severity. Repeated spanking can
lead to aggressive behaviour Suggestions for Parents of Infants
and being spanked makes
children believe that aggression Infants respond impulsively to many situations without a real
is a good way to solve conflicts. understanding of their surroundings and abilities. Spanking
Also spanking can lead to higher will only cause fear and anxiety in children who do not yet
rates of physical aggression, understand such concepts as consequences and danger.
substance abuse, violence and • When there is danger, grasp an infant’s hand instead of
crime and can cause low self- slapping (Leach, 1996).
esteem, depression and poor • When the infant is holding something that you do not want
performance in school. him to have, trade a toy instead of forcing the item from him
(Leach, 1996). He will only hold on tighter if you try to take
Test something away.
• Baby-proof your living space so that there is nothing
While spanking may relieve a dangerous or breakable in reach (Ruben, 1996; Samalin &
parent’s frustration and stop Whitney, 1995).
misbehaviour briefly, according • Leave the room if you feel your temper flaring, making sure
to the American Academy of that the baby is in a safe place like a playpen (Leach, 1996).
Pediatrics (1995), researchers
mother, baby & child April 2011 suggest that spanking may be resentful, humiliated, and Ph.D., assistant professor of
the least effective discipline helpless after being spanked social work at the University
method. To test this hypothesis, (Samalin & Whitney, 1995). The of Michigan, in Ann Arbor,
researchers surveyed parents, primary lesson they learn appears published the mother of all
with the assumption that if to be that they should try harder spanking studies. She looked
spanking worked, children who not to get caught. Spanking at 88 different research efforts,
were spanked would learn to also sends the wrong message analysing them for 11 different
behave better over time so to children (Samalin & Whitney, effects, including depression,
that they would need punishing 1995). Spanking communicates relationship difficulties,
less frequently (Leach, 1996). that hitting is an acceptable way aggression, and long-term
However, the results showed to solve problems, and that it compliance in the kids. Across
that families who start spanking is all right for a big person to the board, children who were
before their children are a strike a smaller one. In addition, spanked did worse in ten of those
year old are just as likely to when children are spanked, they areas and only did better in short-
spank their 4-year-old children may know that they have done term compliance.
as often as families who do something wrong, but in many
not start spanking until later. cases, they are too young to Spanking doesn’t work for
Thus, children appear not to understand the lesson. It is a very the child, for the parents, or
be learning the lessons parents difficult message for any adult or for society. Spanking does not
are trying to teach by spanking. child to understand: “I hurt you promote good behaviour, it
Spanking may be ineffective because I don’t want you hurt.” creates a distance between
because it does not teach an parent and child, and it
alternative behaviour (American The Research contributes to a violent society.
Academy of Pediatrics, 1995). Parents who rely on punishment
In fact, children usually feel For parents trying to understand as their primary mode of
the mountains of data on discipline don’t grow in their
spanking, the issue is confusing. knowledge of their child. It
In 2002, Elizabeth Gershoff, keeps them from creating better
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