Page 61 - April Issue

family ties* relationship* teaching*
discipline* protection*

the new family
Spacing
your kids Ideal

In the first sleep-deprived Is there an ideal amount of time to wait between children?
weeks after the arrival A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine
of a new baby, planning suggests that parents should wait 18 to 23 months after a
the next bundle of joy is full-term birth before conceiving again. The average age gap
the furthest thing from between siblings in America is about two and a half years –
most mothers’ minds. which means that the average parent has been following this
But eventually, the ticking advice. According to Alaa AbuAli, Counselling Psychologist
of the biological clock in Synergy Integrated Medical Centre, as parents make the
begins to be heard over decision to have children they often debate how many years
baby’s cries, the pain of should pass before having another child. “Research has shown
labour fades to a distant that each experience is different, and family dynamics play
memory, and it’s time an important role in how each copes with the age gap,” she
to start thinking about says, “A five year gap may seem long at first as the five year
creating another miracle. old child is in a different developmental stage, however as the
Exactly when the alarm siblings get older this gap might diminish if children develop
clock starts ringing varies a healthy and secure bond that is initiated by a stable family
from woman to woman. environment.” Any age gap, she adds, may be considered long
or short depending on the ages of the children.

For example, a three and six-year-old child may feel a close
bond due to the proximity of their ages and developmental
stages, says AbuAli however at 12 and 15, this gap may appear
longer as the older child is at a later stage of adolescence and is
beginning to desire independence from his/her family including
siblings. Sal, 29, has two daughters who are 7 years apart. “In
some ways it works fine,” she says. “My oldest is much more

61 mother, baby & child April 2011