Page 63 - April Issue
P. 63
the new family
Talking to The Effects mother, baby & child April 2011
children
about divorce Children at this age, explains Devika Singh,
DOH Licensed Psychologist in The Dubai Herbal
Most parents worry about the and Treatment Centre, can feel like they are
emotional effects of divorce on the source of the family distress or the reason
children.They may be worried why one of their parents left the house. “They
enough to decide divorce is not may display some regressive behaviours at this
“the right thing to do” and try age as well by wanting old toys, more time and
to save their marriage.They may attention to care taking from parents and other
recognise that divorce is inevitable adults, and perhaps bedwetting after being
but be plagued with concern trained,” she says, “It is critical that children
about how it is affecting their remain in contact with both parents during a
children. It is important, then, that separation if a child is with this age range, unless
parents have a clear idea of what there is a history of abuse or neglect.” When
exactly the psychological effects a divorce is managed so that the individuals
of divorce on their children may involved maintain a sense of security, the effects,
be.They can then make a sound points out Singh, are not always traumatic,
decision about divorce and work especially for the children. “Development isn’t
throughout divorce to minimise or always affected, however when a divorce is
avoid them altogether. acrimonious and children receive mixed signals
from their parents they are at risk for depression,
anxiety, including late onset separation anxiety,
and difficulty trusting their peers and adults,”
she explains and this then can affect learning at
school, peers relationships and a child’s sense of
optimism about the future.
Children also may experience a sense of
mistrust in their parent’s abilities to meet their
needs for emotional and psychological security.
“This doesn’t mean that parents/couples don’t
or shouldn’t fight; it simply means that when
children witness constant unresolved conflict
they are more likely to experience this lack
of trust,” she says as the process of resolving
63
