Building empathy in kids

Empathy is a key social skill that impacts how we move through the world around us. However, it needs to be nurtured to truly blossom!

Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others – is one of the most valuable traits we can instil in our children. It boosts their emotional wellbeing and helps them form strong relationships, make ethical decisions and navigate the world with kindness and integrity. Yet, empathy doesn’t just develop on its own. Like any other skill, it needs to be nurtured and reinforced through everyday interactions, conversations and positive role models.

In a fast-paced world filled with distractions, competition and digital influence, raising empathetic children requires intentional effort. It’s not just about teaching kids to be “nice” – it’s about helping them truly understand different perspectives, recognise emotions in others, take personal accountability and respond with compassion.

So, how can we cultivate empathy in our kids? Here are some key ways to help them grow into kind, caring and emotionally intelligent individuals.

Be the mirror

Children learn by watching the adults around them. If they see their parents practicing empathy by listening attentively, showing kindness and treating others with respect, they will naturally mirror that behaviour.

It’s good to subtly explain empathy in yourself. If a server at a restaurant seems flustered, you could acknowledge their effort by saying, “She looks really busy. Let’s be patient.” If someone shares bad news, respond with compassionate words like, “That must be really tough for them.” These small moments teach kids that empathy isn’t just a lesson – it’s a way of interacting with the world.

Encourage perspective-taking

One of the best ways to develop empathy is to help little ones see things from another person’s point of view, so try to encourage them to imagine how someone else might feel in a given situation.

For example, if your child is upset because a friend didn’t share a toy, ask, “Why do you think they didn’t share? Do you think they might have been worried about losing it?” When reading a book or watching a movie, pause to discuss a character’s emotions with phrases like, “How do you think she felt when no one listened to her?” These questions help children practice stepping outside of their own perspective and considering the feelings of others, a foundational skill for empathy.

Teach emotional awareness

Before kids can understand other people’s emotions, they need to recognise their own. Teaching children to identify and name their feelings (whether it’s frustration, sadness, excitement or disappointment) helps them develop emotional intelligence.

Aim to speak about emotions openly. Instead of saying, “Calm down,” try, “I see that you’re feeling frustrated. Do you want to talk about it?” Helping children label their emotions not only validates their feelings but also makes it easier for them to recognise and respond to emotions in others.

Use books and stories

Stories are powerful tools for teaching empathy because they allow children to experience different perspectives in a safe and engaging way. Books introduce kids to characters with diverse experiences, struggles and emotions, helping them develop a broader understanding of the world.

It’s wise to look for books that feature a wide range of characters and emotions, and ask questions like, “How do you think he felt when that happened?” or “What would you have done in that situation?” These discussions encourage kids to put themselves in others’ shoes and think about feelings beyond their own.

Acts of kindness

Empathy isn’t just about understanding feelings. It’s about taking action. Sometimes all little ones need is the encouragement to practice small acts of kindness that show they care about others. Simple gestures like making a get-well card for a sick friend, offering to help carry groceries or comforting a classmate who is sad reinforce the idea that their actions can positively impact others. When children experience the joy of helping, they become more motivated to act kindly in the future.

You might even want to make kindness a family habit by participating in volunteer activities, donating to causes together or simply making a point to express gratitude and appreciation in your everyday family life.

Active listening

Listening is a big part of empathy. When children learn to listen, not just to respond, but to truly understand, they become more compassionate communicators.

Teach your child to practice active listening by making eye contact, nodding and responding thoughtfully. Encourage them to listen without interrupting and to ask questions that show they care about what the other person is saying.

If your child rushes to offer advice or dismisses someone’s feelings, gently guide them by saying, “Instead of trying to fix it right away, let’s try to understand how they feel. What do you think they need from you right now?”

Different experiences

Kids also develop empathy when they are exposed to people and experiences outside of their own world. Opportunities for them to interact with people from different backgrounds, cultures and perspectives are important for broadening their horizons.

This could mean traveling to new places, attending cultural events or simply having conversations about differences. When children see that people have various experiences, beliefs and challenges in this life, they become more open-minded and empathetic.

If direct exposure isn’t possible, reading books or watching documentaries from the point of view of someone dissimilar to your child can be a great way to introduce them to different perspectives. Lastly, it can be beneficial to talk about real-world issues in age-appropriate ways to help them understand struggles that others face.

Address bullying and injustice

Empathy isn’t just about feeling for others; it’s about standing up for them. Teaching kids to recognise when someone is being treated unfairly and to speak out against bullying and injustice is a big piece of the empathy puzzle.

If your child witnesses someone in their class being excluded or mistreated, it’s good to discuss how they can respond. “How do you think she felt when no one included her? What could you do next time to help?” are great conversation starters. Encouraging your children to be upstanders rather than bystanders – people who stand up for fairness and kindness – is the goal and helping kids understand the impact of their actions will empower them to use their voices to create a more empathetic world.

Give praise

When children show empathy, acknowledge it. It might sound simple but positive reinforcement encourages them to continue these behaviours. Instead of just saying, “Good job,” try to be specific – “I noticed you helped your friend when he was feeling sad. That was really kind of you.” feels much nicer to hear.

Another approach is to take a moment to reflect together at the end of the day, by asking “What’s something kind you did for someone today? How did it make them feel?” Reflection helps children become more aware of their empathetic actions and their impact on others.

Emotional wellbeing

Empathy doesn’t just help children build stronger relationships – it also plays a vital role in their own emotional wellbeing. When kids learn to understand and connect with the emotions of others, they also become more aware of their own feelings. This emotional intelligence allows them to better manage stress, navigate conflicts with confidence and develop resilience in challenging situations. Children who practice empathy tend to feel more secure in their relationships, as they understand how to express their emotions in a healthy way and look for support when needed. Additionally, by working on a sense of connection and belonging, empathy reduces the feelings of loneliness and isolation kids can experience, which leads to better overall mental wellbeing. In short, teaching kids empathy not only helps them be kinder to others, it also equips them with the emotional tools they need to thrive in their own lives.

Keep the chat going

Empathy isn’t something kids learn overnight – it’s a lifelong skill that grows through practice. With patience, guidance and consistent effort, you can help shape your children into the compassionate, understanding individuals they can be.

By raising kids who are empathetic, we’re not just shaping them into better individuals – we’re shaping a better world. Empathy leads to stronger relationships, better communication and a deeper sense of responsibility for others. In a society that often prioritises competition over connection, raising children who care about others is one of the most valuable gifts we can give them.

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