Tips to Tackle Parental Anger
If you have noticed that you are quick to reach boiling point and you react in an excessive way when your children misbehave, and have even been told that you’re overreacting, this can be a strong sign that you need to consider making some changes. Here are some tips to see if you overreact, and suggestions as to what you can do about it.
Take a moment
Make sure your kids are in a safe situation and remove yourself from the situation for a few moments. Take a few minutes and focus on your breathing. If you need to walk away for a moment, do so and tell yourself: “I need to handle this better and more calmly, to get a better result for all of us.”
How does your body feel? Tense? Hot? Are you sweating? Is your heart racing? This means you are probably reacting too strongly to the situation. If so, go to the next point and ‘take a moment.’
Allow yourself a few moments to let your emotions calm and re-balance. Remember how unfair and destructive it is to have an angry outburst at your children if the real problem is coming from you. Do talk to family, friends or a counsellor – there is nothing to be ashamed of and it is a brilliantly insightful thing to look at your behaviour and want to make changes.
HOW TO SOOTHE YOURSELF IN UNDER 60 SECONDS
Tense all your muscles as tightly as you can for 10 seconds, then slowly relax them for a count of 10 seconds. Repeat three times.
Play your favourite song – pick the one that is loaded with great memories! 3. Make a phone call – talk to your partner, a friend or colleague who will listen to you get it off your chest.
If you have caught yourself getting angry at your child and feel bad about this, do remember that children are not adults, and they therefore do not think with the same maturity and decision-making capability as adults. Children are at a stage of learning and are likely to copy any behaviours you model to them. Try to lead by example, keep calm and make sure you explain ‘why’ you need your child to do something, to help them learn. If you are worried about your anger levels, then this is likely making you unhappy. Do speak to your doctor about getting help with the anger, as stress and pressure are often behind this, and help is at hand.